Monday, February 13, 2012

Jealousy. It's normal, right?

Eh I'm gonna go all emo on you guys today (ish). My best friend from England got engaged on Saturday. I'm not exactly ecstatic about it but I don't hate her about it either. I'm actually really really jealous of her. This jealousy isn't to the point where I want to mess up her relationship or where I don't want to be friends with her. It just hurts me when she talks about her rich boyfriend who dotes on her lovingly for hours and he takes her place and stuff -_____- Why am I jealous you ask? Well for one, she's found someone who can love her long term. Yes I'm young and blah blah but I don't exactly want to have one boyfriend this month to break up with him and have a different boyfriend next month. That's just not who I am. For two, her boyfriend is rich. Not filthy stinkin rich but he can afford some of the excesses of life. What excesses can I afford? Um near none >.> By no means am I a gold-digger but I would like to not have to struggle financial every blessed month. I'm a college student and I have enough of school to stress over without having to think about how I'm getting to and from school and how I'm getting text books for school. Get where I'm going here? It's not a jealousy over something material, like her boyfriend has good hair O.o or he has a lot of money so I can have a lot of stuff :D OK well the money part is a semi-lie. I would love to get out of my house once in a while to hang with my friends (slash hypothetical boyfriend), I'd love to get more beads to do my beading, or even just get a fucking text book for school! I love my brit to bits and I'm happy that she is happy, honestly. She deserves to be treated like a queen or a goddess as her now fiancé is treating her. But don't I deserve the same? I've put up with enough crap over the years and I suppose I'm getting intolerant and and impatient.I don't know. I'm just fed up of living this way and not getting the attention and love I deserve.

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