Saturday, January 8, 2011
Mélange de sentiments
I'm in a mess right now. Got so many feelings swirling around inside me. Maybe it's cos I'm too soft that people take advantage of me. Or maybe I'm just naturally a fool. I think I'm naturally a fool. Why in hell would I think that I could still be friends with the guy that took my virginity and broke off our relationship? Why am I still crying over him after a whole year of breaking up with him? Why am I still fucking single if I'm beautiful and such a nice person? Why do people hate me and say things about me if I'm such a nice person? I'm trying to be so optimistic and so happy with just being alone and having one friend that I can trust but it's fucking hard to look at that and be happy. Ugh I'm trying so hard not to bash myself or the life I live right now but it's hard. It is so hard not to do that right now. I'm having an emotional breakdown.